“Al Basleh” means “The Onion” in Arabic. I thought it was appropriate since reading local media in this here Arabian peninsula is always good for a jolt. What reads as satire is actually honest-to-goodness news stories. They run from the science-defying story on the doctor who pronounced a pregnant woman as still a virgin or the idiotic escapades of drunken Brits getting arrested after having sex on the beach, in a taxi, or elsewhere.

As we wait for the returns in the U.S. election, I offer you some light reading from this week, starting with this gem: “Man walking pet monkey kills neighbor in barmaid feud.”

DUBAI // A drugged-up man walking his monkey kicked his neighbour to the ground, bit his nose and poured sand into his mouth before leaving him to die in a dispute over a barmaid, a court heard today.

This guy didn’t kill anyone.

‘Yes, I did it,’ the 31-year-old SE told the Criminal Court.

Earlier this week I learned that some facial hair-challenged Gulfies have been able to find follicle transplants in Turkey. According to the article in The National, many are there to replenish the “main hair” but others are there to fill up patchy beards and mustaches – the ultimate manly symbol in these parts. The Turkish transplant specialist in the story said the hit to the self-confidence of these men is brutal. “It’s not a macho-problem, it’s a real need,” he said. “I have had grown men in here crying.”

These men are spending more than 4,000 euros for the procedure.

“I always wanted to have a beard. It is attractive,” said one businessman, 42, who was quoted by the paper. “I also wanted to have a beard when carrying out the Haj for Islamic reasons. Going to Haj with a beard is a dream come true.”

Aww, you go girl. Whatever makes you feel pretty.

Advertisements